Sobhy Boktor El Abbassy

Story

Sobhy Boktor El Abbassy

My father Sobhy Boktor El Abbassy, born October 1, 1924, was one of five children, and was a bank manager, and mother Rose Costandi Issa, June 26, 1923, was one of six children, and was a qualified school teacher. They were both born in Egypt. After managing the Berkeley\’s Bank in Cairo, Egypt for 25 years, management had changed and overnight, so did my father\’s future. He walked in to find the clerk he had been dutifully training had been given his job, and that the clerk\’s job was his. I distinctly remember hearing him say ‘if this can happen to me after 25 years, what will happen our children?’ to my mother. The decision was made to immigrate to Australia because one of his older brothers was already there. My father was determined that this would not happen to us and wanted a better place that provided opportunity for my sister, brother and I.

Once the decision to immigrate was made, my father wanted to sell everything we owned and leave as soon as possible using the fastest possible mode of transportation. He wanted to leave quickly and not look back. So, the fully furnished inner city apartment we had all grown up in and called home was sold for a meagre amount of 1000 Egyptian pounds in 1970.

It was his job as a parent to avoid this happening to his family, so he was going to wrap all the loose ends up quickly and leave. He put aside his own personal feelings and disappointments and presented moving to another country to us kids, as an exciting adventure and we got caught up in the moment.

I don\’t think he realised the sadness and loss my mother was feeling. He organised health checks, immunisations, dentists, passports, booked tickets and changed money as quickly as he could. My father wanted to provide a secure future for his family. He longed for the land of opportunity where he and mum could work hard and be able to buy a house and provide stability for us, their children.

We finally left in December 1970, so that we can celebrate Christmas with our uncle and his family in Glen Iris. Upon arrival, my father went for a walk to familiarise himself with the area and came back proclaiming to us that we should remember the first two things about Australia. The first one is to always say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and the second, to cross at the white painted strips on the road….the crossings.

My parents began the task of finding jobs in their prospective professions whilst also trying to find us somewhere to live. They attended many interviews only to be told that their qualifications were not recognised. They had to find work in order to support three kids and be able to pay rent. So, my father Sobhy worked as a Tram conductor, a cheese maker at Kraft, and finally for the Railways. I recall my father telling us stories about how he often experienced being called names and told to go back where he came from, quickly followed by an explanation why we should never speak to others in this way and to always respect all people.

I remember one particular instant where we went to the local Laundromat with my father because we didn\’t have a washing machine at the flat. As we were folding the sheets, three youths that were also there, began calling us names, particularly hurling abuse at my father. This made us very angry. We couldn\’t understand why total strangers would be so disrespectful to someone older than they, who was minding his own business. My father told us to ignore them as we hurriedly finished the washing. They continued to swear and call us names which was very hurtful and made us feel dirty. On the way out, one of them spat at my father and laughed as he told us about it. When we got outside, we removed the phlegm from my father\’s clothes, but could not remove the shame and humiliation that was also hurled at us. In those days we all experienced a lot of racial discrimination and vilification.

My father didn\’t have the opportunity to get the appropriate qualifications to resume his profession because he was caught up in day to day requirements of our life. This left him feeling inadequate as a provider and a failure as a man. In my mind\’s eye, a poignant expression on my father\’s face is a permanent etching.

My father Sobhy Boctor El Abbassy passed away March 5, 1979, aged 54. Merely nine years after he reached the land of opportunity for our betterment. The one person that made us all feel safe and could always make everything right… was gone. What can I say about that time in our lives….extreme sadness and lots of tears. We were all distraught and devastated.

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